Valentine's

Isaac and I have been married for 5 years. Usually on Valentine's Day we stay at home and Isaac makes me a steak...I love his steaks. This year he wanted to go out. He made reservations at a nice restaurant. Online it said their Valentine's special was a four course meal. I thought that when we showed up we could choose something else off the menu, apparently that was not an option. Each course had four options and we could chose one. With the exception of course four.

Course one: I chose the crab cake. It was so delicious. I was so full.

Course two: I decided to be brave and try something new. I never do this. 'what is the Lobster Bisque?' Server: " It's delicious. They take the claws, shell, everything you don't eat on the lobster, boil it down, add a heavy cream, and spices." ....I thought to myself, ' you want to charge us an arm and a leg for something that usually goes in the trash?' my mouth said, " I'll try it!"....It actually was very good. However, I couldn't finish it b.c. I was so full from the crab cake.

Course three: Stuffed lobster. One bite. I had one bite. My stomach did protest..."Where do you want me to put this!? You are full! Stop it!" Not to mention he said the words "in heavy cream" again. Course # 2...in heavy cream, there went my 6mile run calories. course #3 in heavy cream, there went my 7 mile run. Darn. Gained all my friggin calories back.

Course four: Dark Chocolate decedent cake with passion fruit. Before I could tell them not to put that kryptinite in front of me, it was there. I broke my vow and had 4 small bites. It was ok. I should have stopped at the first b.c. I was not that impressed.

Convo at the end between Isaac and me: " That was a great dinner, thanks for taking me out, I love you. We should do Long Horn next year." Isaac smiling back at me, "yea, we should. The valet parking was nice though." I'll be happy to park the car for him :)

Mama needs to rant

I had an appointment for little Isaac today on base. At first the meeting went really well. While I was discussing his results with one therapist another therapist was asking him if he could say his ABC's and write his ABC's. Isaac sang, wrote upper and lower case and told her all the sounds each letter makes. The lady was in shock. She had the other woman look at what he could do. They both talked about how advanced he was for his age. Then they said, "Draw you". So, Isaac drew the letter "U". When they explained they wanted you the person he turned the letter U into a person. They were even more impressed. They went on and on about how well behaved he was. Then I asked a simple question, " when we PCS can he test into Kindergarten or First grade?" I explained that his handwriting needed some improvement and that I wouldn't mind him repeating pre-k if he could test at another State. The ladies got upset when they found out he was in a private school. They told me he needed to be socializing and playing and learning "just enough" I wouldn't want to "push him and make him feel like a failure." They also told me, " Your younger son would never be allowed in a school like that. He is too care free and adventurous" I guess they were trying to put it nicely. Lets face the facts. Israel likes to run, he likes to climb, he likes to challenge me and push the limits. That is him. That is his personality. It is my job as his mother to take his headstrong and stubbornness and show him how to use it for good. It will be great when he stands up for what he believes in and does not budge. He will be social. He will not be quiet and have kids come ask him to be their friend, he will ask them to be his. That is my Israel and I love him the way he is. My Isaac is quiet, he observes, he rarely challenges, he's stubborn. These to are great qualities. I have taught him to ask a child to be his friend. I have taught him it is ok to speak up for himself. What I do not teach him is that goals are unattainable. That things are meant to be handed to you. That life is one big socializing party and you skate by with what you can do at bare minimum. No! My boys will push themselves. I am glad that Isaac goes to a school where his teacher says, " He is learning a ton and has improved so much but he can do better." That means she gives a crap! It means she cares for him and she cares for his future. I am glad that the school he is in teaches him to be the best he can be. That there are times to be loud and times to be quiet. That the main reason we go to school is to learn! Imagine that!? What if all schools were like this? What if all schools taught to always do your best and never accepted less from you, to show honor to your teacher and classmates, that you earn what you work for? It seems like now a days people want their kids in all day day care. Guess what? The teacher is there to teach your child not babysit them! Imagine if there is a behavioral problem at school the teacher could say, "Little Johnny is talking in class and distracting others" if a parent corrected Johnny and didn't yell at the teacher. It's time to put education first and play time second. Isaac gets both and if we are here long enough for Israel to get to go to this school. My kids will work on Wall Street not protest and be lazy on it.

I finally decided to start hiring a sitter. Of course I printed up a Bed time routine for the boys. I asked Isaac to double check it for me and add anything I might of forgotten. We'll we came back form our date....check out the highlighted part Isaac added...

Boys Bedtime routine
· 7:20pm start picking up toys

· If toys are picked up by 7:45 Isaac can pick out 1 big book or 3 short books to be read to him. If he does not have his toys picked up he can have 1 small book

· After story time Isaac says a short prayer. If he does not want to pray, remind him that he is a sinner and on his way to hell!! Jk. Just say a prayer for him and Israel

· Change Israel’s diaper.

· Isaac gets 2 vitamins, Israel gets 1 (on counter)

· Isaac has a camel back and Israel has a Sippy cup of water to bring to bed with them.

· Tuck the boys in (Israel sleeps in the pack and play). Israel will cry for 5-10min but do not get him. The longer Isaac is allowed to stay up the more hyper he gets. Israel will just get crankier. It’s best to have them in bed by 8 pm

TV
The remotes are located in the couch console. To watch a movie on the DVD player hit the “composite” button. To watch TV hit the “HDMI” button.

*Thanks for watching our boys. Please call or txt if you need ANYTHING….we also request you have no boyfriends over at the house.

Feel free to help yourself to any snacks or drinks

Santa

When Isaac and I decided to have kids we discussed the subject of Santa. Do we tell our kids that he is real? Or do we tell them he doesn't exist? Isaac, let it be known right a way that he wasn't going to let "some fat old man take credit for all his hard work". As a child I was told from the get go that Santa didn't exist. My mom is Filipino and not only did she let us know he didn't exist but she would laugh like the white people were crazy. I am not emotionally damaged from this at all. It was kinda nice knowing that my mom and I were in on a "secret". However, I realized my kids are not me so I did my research. Everyone I asked that believed in Santa either didn't care when they found out OR they really really cared and felt lied to. One of them being my own Dad. So, I decided that I did not want my kid to know me as a liar. Yesterday, Isaac asked about Santa. So, I told him that Santa really was mom and dad or grandma and grandpa. I then read him the story of the real St. Nick and explained that now people tell their kid there is a Santa Clause but he his just pretend. Pretty good if I do say so mysellll....."MOM! Where is St. Nick now!?" ...'well, honey he was alive a long time ago and he died"...."WHAT!? SANTA IS DEAD!? WAAAA!!!!" ...'Not Santa! St. Nick. Santa still exist!'. ....crap....so much for that plan.

Bieber Fever

My hair has grown out since Isaac has been back. For some reason I wanted to go shorter this time. So I did. I really wanted this cut...

So I got the cut

I really love it. Isaac thinks it's a little short. Here's a convo for a laugh...

Me: I really love my cut! Except I look a little like Justin Bieber right?

Isaac: Oh my God yes! Yes, you do! Why did you say that!? *he's being dead serious*

Me: You're a jerk! I'm gonna put this convo on fb.

Isaac: If you don't I'll get you chocolate cake.

Me: Deal

*I didn't say anything about my blog though ba ha ha*

First 5K

Me and my accountablity buddy Megan before the race

Did my first 5k on Sat. it was a lot of fun. Me and my buddy Megan ran at 8am on a chilly, windy, Oklahoma morning. Very grateful for Megan. She went to my Highschool a year after I did and we live to far away from each other in OKC to actually be workout buddies but we do keep each other accountable and pray for one another :)

My time was 3o:01

5th in my age division

27th out of 106 women.

I'm excited to do another and try to beat my last time.

Isaac David ran the 50 yard dash. He was truely the highlight of the day for me. We expected a lot of kids to participate but most of them left because of the cold and the ones that were left didn't participate. Despite the fact that he ran alone he gave it his all and ran his very hardest. He truely competed against himself and I could not have been more proud :)

Isaac after he ran his race

Hide yo wife, hide yo kids, hide yo scale! They weighin everybody up in here!

Don't you love it when God gives you a major life lesson through mommy hood? I got a huge reality check/wake up call yesterday...I'll get to that in a bit. Lets do a little background info first. This entry is going to be as open as I can get and I hope it helps someone along the way that struggles with the same thing...

Rewind about 11 years to when I was in High school. My family moved to Texas and I remember being pretty thin my freshman year then my sophomore and Junior year I gained weight. Not a few pounds. More like 40lbs. I was around 160lbs when I went to the schools Banquet (what would be equivalent to a prom). One day after school I remember my family stopping by McDonald's, I was super hungry but decided to save my parents some money and didn't get anything to eat. After that I just gradually began not eating. By my senior banquet I was 109lbs. I also remember being extremely unhappy, pale, and weak. It took a lot of effort to play sports. We played tennis one day in PE and I thought to myself, 'who the heck plays this sport? This racket is soooo heavy!' My Dad used to weigh me before I could go out with friends or on dates. I got really sneaky and began putting change in my pockets to make myself weigh heavier. I graduated in 2001 and off I went to college. Not sure what happened. I still thought a lot about food and weight but every year I gained a little more weight. My freshman and sophomore year I was so wrapped up in a bad relationship I didn't really care about my weight. My Junior and Senior year the relationship finally ended for good and I was stressed out with school and work (I was taking 21 credit hours and working 40 hours or more a week). Needless to say I was tired and I didn't have a great diet. I would go on yo yo diets and binges. The two that stick out in my head the most are my Junior year when I went on a gum and liquid diet. I would literally not eat anything for 10 days at a time and survive off of gum and fluids. My thought process was to lose 10lbs in 10 days. It worked but I paid the price. The second memory that stands out in my memory was my last semester of my Senior year. I was so so so stressed with everything. One night while my roommates were gone I ate a ton. 2 large pizzas, big mac and fries, two 1/2 gallons of ice cream, candy, and pie. I threw up and threw up and threw up some more till it was all out. Then I felt guilty and out of control so I called my Dad. I remember telling him how bad my throat hurt and how I was tired of seeing blood when I threw up. He told me he was going to yank me out of school. I begged him not to and to let me finish my last 1/2 of the semester and that I wouldn't do it again. I've always been honest with my Dad and he let me stay. I graduated that spring and went home. When I got home I weighed 175lbs. My sister Esther quickly whipped my butt into shape. We worked at a car wash 8am-4pm. From there we would go to the gym for 2 to 3 hours. Protein shakes and sandwiches were my best friend. By the end of the summer I was 130lbs. I went to graduate school and lost 5lbs the unhealthy way(not eating). Dropped out half way through the semester went home and married Isaac and got pregnant. For the first 6 months of pregnancy I would eat in front of Isaac but survive off of crackers and juice when he was not around and I am ashamed to admit it but I made myself throw up a few times. Isaac went to OTS and I stayed with my mom and really packed on the weight. After having Isaac I lost all the weight with running and skipping meals. Not healthy. With Israel I ate everything there was to eat and 3 weeks after having him started doing Insanity. I am blessed enough that I have 2 sisters that will let me call them day or night and say, "hey, I need to talk for an hour I feel like throwing up" and they'll talk with me and encourage me and a husband who tells me he finds me just as attractive at 180lbs as he does at 125lbs and proudly holds my hand in public at any weight. I know I will always have a love hate relationship with food. My most recent thing was that I didn't want to eat chocolate while Isaac was deployed. He sent me chocolate covered strawberries. I balled. I sat there and stared at them. I ate most of them at one time then ran to the bathroom to see if I gained 20lbs. I was terrified. That brings me back to the scale. I weigh myself every chance I get. I thought it wasn't hurting anything. It was keeping me in check. I can weigh myself up to 20 times a day. Then yesterday morning little Isaac went to use the bathroom he immediately ran to the scale, "33lbs! 33lbs! Ugh! I am fat! Israel, get on the scale. You've gained 10lbs! 10lbs Israel! You need to lose weight!" This broke my heart. He's 4. He's a boy. It honestly never occurred to me that he even paid attention to the fact that I get on the scale. Recently I have been eating as healthy as possible and working out. Running in the mornings mon, wed, and fri. Insanity at night. The scale won't budge but my clothes fit better. It's taken 11 years to "click" but the scale is not everything. For once in my life I don't want to be skinny, sick, tired and a size 4 or 6. I want to be fit,toned, and full of energy. Surprise, surprise exercise and HEALTHY eating will get those results. I asked Isaac to hide the scale from me today. I'll weigh myself every 3 months or at the end of a program. My goals are no longer to see how low the scale number can get or how small my pants size can be but how far I can run, how much I can lift, and how to be the best role model I can be for my kids. I know I'll still struggle with food on some days and not look in the mirror and see what others see. But removing the biggest thing in my life that "defines" me is the first step I am taking to breaking this mental cycle with myself and I REFUSE to let it affect my children. Bye scale! I won't miss you and your negativity :)